For immediate release. After nearly a year out of the limelight, the Wusses have been thrust back onto the national stage. This time it's not another thirteen month megatour or benefit for preteen victims of hair loss. A class action lawsuit filed today in Fresno, Michigan accuses the Wusses of being not just the fathers of soft rock, but also of thousands of illegitimate children.
The law firm, Siegel, Sieglitz and Siegel announced today that it was working with over 800 mothers who had all been impregnated by a member or, in some cases, members of the Wusses. "Now that we've finally gone public with this, we think we'll be hearing from a lot more mothers who have also been impregnated during this legendary groups long career by one of its members," said attorney Ira Siegel, himself allegedly the 36 year old son of Gordy West, conceived during a West/Ward tour while West was still but a mere boy of ten. "We're asking mothers to send us a DNA example of their children so that we might ascertain who their father is and include them as a plaintiff of this class action law suit," added Siegel.
For their part, the Wusses have filed a counter suit against the Siegel, Sieglitz, and Siegel law firm, claiming that the firm had illegally employed groupies to obtain DNA samples from the group. "The sacred trust between a rock musician and his groupy has been irreparably violated," Arturo Fratelli is quoted as saying in a court brief.
The only member so far excluded from the suit is Josiah Yoder, on the grounds that because of his Amish religion he does not have DNA. A fact confirmed by Duke University geneticist Ally Kornbluth. "We were surprised, but apparently Josiah Yoder's faith prevents him from having any DNA in his cells. We've learned now that the Amish might be an entirely new form of life, and we are beginning active research into this exciting new field of weird faith based biology," said Kornbluth at a press conference ealier today.
For immediate release. On May 19th The Wusses will play the "Free Europe" concert at the Local 506 in Chapel Hill, NC to support their beleaguered trumpet player and tambourine maestro. Grammy-winning trumpeter Hercules Europe will report to federal prison on May 20th to begin a one-year tax evasion sentence after a judge denied his request to remain free while he appeals the conviction.
Europe, 59, will report to the federal penitentiary in Key Bescane, FL, U.S. Bureau of Prisons records show. His projected release date, with credit for good conduct, is June. 4th.
A jury last October convicted Europe on charges of conspiracy and tax evasion involving his gospel music ministry.
Europe recorded with several pop acts in the 1970s, including Joe Cocker, Stephen Stills, Leon Russell, Blood, Sweat & Tears, and The Wusses. He received a Grammy in 1984 for his tambourine work on Van Halen's album that year.
He recorded more than 30 of his own albums of gospel and patriotic music, which he distributes through his ministry based in Bland, WV., and its Web site.
An indictment accused Europe and his mistress, Acca Larentia, of scheming with her mother, bookkeeper Christy Larentia, to avoid reporting personal income totaling more than $1 million between 1996 and 1999.
An IRS agent testified at the trial that Europe and his wife improperly used his Mighty Horn Ministries to shield the money and evade $128,627 in taxes. They were also accused of operating a corn ethanol operation without a permit, but those charges were dropped.
For immediate release. Brighid Flood Willis today announced she was suing the Wusses after she received a package from the group containing a dead turtle dove and a note thanking her for booking them for an exclusive private holiday party. According to Leon Alabaster, the bird was sent as a thank you and was intended to be alive and fly out upon arrival. "I don't know what wrong. I thought it would be a beautiful thing, to give her this beautiful bird, a symbol of peace on earth and the holidays." Willis and a number of animal rights groups remain unimpressed. The event, a multimillion dollar holidy gala, is thrown every year at the private mansion of clinical trial management mogul, Gilbert Andreeson, and involves a veritable who's who of CRO glitterati. Willis says she has already cancelled the Wusses engagement at the event and has instead retained soft rock duo, Skeels and Toft.
Alabaster is facing misdemeanor charges of animal cruelty and is scheduled to appear before Fresno County district court.
For immediate release. The Wusses find themselves embroiled once again in scandal as news hit the streets today of a paternity lawsuit filed by Judge Linda Kenner, now three months pregnant, against the Wusses. The suit does not identify which Wuss is the alleged father, but names all of the Wusses as potential fathers and asks for a court order for all Wusses to undergo DNA testing.
The scandal has prompted many to question Kenner's decision three months ago to throw out a federal criminal case against the Wusses for tax evasion. Many voices in Washington have called for a retrial but have found themselves stymied by the so called "double jeopardy" clause of the fifth ammendment to the constitution which prevents the government from trying a person twice for the same crime. Kansas senator Sam Brownback, a republican, has proposed an ammendment to the constitution, the so called "Wusses" ammendment, that would allow the government to retry criminal cases under certain circumstances. On the eve of mid term elections, however, few lawmakers are eager to take such a public stance against the Wusses, given their enormous popular appeal.
For immediate release. The Wusses today were cleared of all charges related to their case of tax evasion. Judge Linda Kenner today threw the case out this afternoon after the prosecution, in her words, failed to prove the Wusses had earned any income at all. "Frankly, I've never seen a flimsier case," she told reporters this afternoon at a press conference immediately after the trial. According to the Wusses the band members themselves had never earned any money from their music. According to Arturo Fratelli, "The houses, the cars, the studios. Those all belong to the record company. We own nothing. We earn nothing. The company gives us place to live, food to eat, and we make music. We do not have to worry about money. It is better this way."
For immediate release. As a testament to how well respected the Wusses are in the music community, the industry's top recording artists have banded together to record a tribute album of songs all recorded originally by the Wusses. All proceeds will benefit the Wusses legal defense fund. The album, entitled Fly On, Smooth Gulls, is slated for release in July. In the meantime, you can see many of these bands performing their own versions of Wusses tunes right here.
For immediate release. Bobby Turnblue was found yesterday lecturing at McFadden music store in Mobile, Alabama. Turnblue was at the store promoting a new line of keyboard amplifiers for Peavey Electronics. Bobby Turnblue has apparently been touring the deep south extensively, in search of the perfect gumbo. When asked about the possible whereabouts of the remaining Wusses, Turnblue responded, "I don't know where those guys are. They better [expletive] show up for our gig Sunday night." The Wusses are booked to play the Local 506 in Chapel Hill, NC, Sunday May 28th, with local band, Shipwrecker opening. According to Bob "Miami" Vice, "They'll be there."
For immediate release. The Wusses, it seems, have gone missing. The group's manager, Bob "Miami" Vice, told reporters at a press conference earlier today that the group hadn't been seen or heard from since the second show of their Save the Pelican Tour. "Yeah, to be honest, I kind of forgot about these guys. Some club owner called me this morning to try to book them and I realized I hadn't heard from them in a while." Police broke into their posh home and recording studio in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, but found no signs of human habitation. They did find a fierce clan of ferrel cats who apparently had been surviving for five months by hunting the ever more abundant mice and cockroaches. The stench, according to police, was unbelievable. The Myrtle Beach police department is asking for persons with any knowledge as to where the Wusses might be, to please contact them immediately.
For immediate release. Tour dates for the Wusses' upcoming Save the Pelican tour have been finalized. The Wusses will be playing your hometown soon. Don't miss 'em!
For immediate release. Federal agents yesterday raided the 21 room mansion and recording studio in Modesto, California where the Wusses had been living and recording their much anticipated follow up to last year's album, Sailing on the Wings of Love. The raid, in which most of the bands assets, including master tapes, were seized was the result of an IRS audit in which it was found that no Wuss had paid any income tax on any of their millions of dollars of earnings from record sales and sold out stadium concerts. According to Arturo Fratelli, "I am Italian citizen. I do not pay taxes in United States." Seamus Perez, spokesperson for the IRS, begged to differ, saying, "Mr. Fratelli is mistaken with regards to his tax liability."
Although federal prosecutors haven't ruled out criminal proceedings, for the time being, at least, the Wusses are not facing jail time. They will be hitting the road after Christmas, however, in order to raise the money to buy back their master tapes and reopen their posh home and recording studio so they can finish their concept album, The Pelican. Release of the album, unfortunately for the Wusses' fans, has been postponed indefinitely. Upcoming tour dates will be released as soon as they are known.
For immediate release. On Friday, Dec 2, The Wusses will interrupt work on their 26th album (a concept album entitled The Pelican) in order to play The Great Cover Up in Raleigh, North Carolina. The national show case will honor their over 30 years of number one hits and will be the first television program to be broadcast world wide via sattelite. The concert will be held at King's Barcade and the Wusses hit the stage at 11pm.
For immediate release. Gordy West has given a rare interview with Neal McNeal for the BHBS television network. Gordy West talks about cutting hair, chorus pedals, and his relationship to bees. Watch the full interview here.
For immediate release. The Wusses will be making a rare appearance in the deep south of the United States, playing Chapel Hill, North Carolina. They will be performing at the Local 506 on Friday, September 23rd. Proceeds will benefit victims of hurricane Katrina. The complete line up for the show is not yet known, but should be finalized soon. According to Josiah Yoder, "We're all actually really excited to play this tiny redneck town. People are always really nice to us in the south, and we like their funny accents. And, of course, it's for a good cause."
For immediate release. The Wusses have returned to their home of Thunder Bay, Ontario on the heels of an ambitious world tour. Their arrival comes about 8 months ahead of schedule. When asked about their early arrival home, Gordy West replied, "Yeah, I guess we made pretty good time." "Maybe there are less countries than we initially thought," Leon Alabaster theorized. All of the Wusses appear to be in good health and good spirits.
For immediate release. The Wusses will kick off a tour of the world's capital cities on August 13th, when they play Washington DC, at the Peter Geddes Arena. From there they will be on the road for 271 days as they play the capital of each country in the world. Although the Wusses aren't ones to play favorites, they are particularly looking forward to playing in St Peter Port, Guernsey, Djibouti, Djibouti, Bereenberg, Jan Mayen, and Thimphu, Bhutan.